This is the title of the poorly written blog.

End of the month blogging is hard. Seriously, guys. You've completely exhausted my creativity. I would tell you another amusing anecdote, but I haven't one and I've already done that.
I've done a few list-y type posts so I can't really do that again.
I've done my fair share of rants [seriously, those freaking food-related idioms. jerks, the lot of them].

I shall tell you an Adrienne Childhood Story, because the song is asking about childhood things and stuff and things so yeah.

Just after my 6th birthday, I moved to Canberra, from the much fairer (PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T BEEN THERE SHOULD GO THERE. with me.) Melbourne, Awesome Capital of the World.
I'd known that we were moving for a few terrible months, during which I found not only that, but also that my ahhhhmazing cat Bruce had to be put down.
I really didn't want to move. I was moving away from family, from Courtney, from Cassandra and from some other things, I'm sure, just maybe I can't think of them right now, ok? Is that alright? Good.

So I got here, after eventually realising that my screaming and crying wasn't going to stop anyone (though that certainly didn't stop me from trying), and was most devastated about the fact that I had to go back to Kindergarten. For the uninformed, in Melbourne, Kindergarten is what you do before school; the Canberra equivalent of pre-school, while in Melbourne, Prep is what is here referred to as Kindergarten.
Anyway.
I was totes devo that I had to, in my young mind, go back a grade (even though I didn't really) and I didn't want to go to this stupid new school where I knew no-one, because in case you don't know me, I'm shades of socially awkward you've never even seen before.
So it was my first day in this new, undoubtedly terrible and evil educational institution, Campbell Primary School, and I was crying. I was doing the stereotypical thing and clinging fiercely to my mum's leg while sobbing and whining and complaining and bargaining and everything ever. EVER.
So then, I finally walk (see: got dragged) into my new Kindergarten classroom with Mrs Butler as my teacher and a group of confident 'we're halfway through the year here, and we already know everything about this darn school and you are just a silly, crying new kid' children.
I couldn't even look at them.
At least, I couldn't right up until the point when Mrs Butler asked
"Now, who would like to look after Adrienne for the day?" (I'm not going to lie, she probably didn't say exactly that. Cut me some slack, it was a large, large number of years ago and I was crying and my ears were full of Mum's jeans because my face was buried into her calf.)
At this, I looked up, and got to see nearly every person in the room put up their hand. Well, that's how I remember it anyway. So we'll roll with that.
It was so cool. I was this pathetic new kid who couldn't stop crying and begging her Mum to please please, not make her go, and couldn't they come back and try again another day, and all these kids wanted to chillax with the Age-meister. Yeah, bro.

The conclusion and underlying theme of this story is that while it took me a long, long while after that to actually learn to love Canberra for it's many, many flaws, this was the first step. Its first redeeming feature was a classroom of kids thinking it'd be pretty swell to be my friend.

I am aware I could be reading too much into their enthusiasm but I DON'T CARE. I'm live life on the edge.

Also, the underlying theme here is that if I sit down with nothing to write, eventually some shitty story will present itself, and that's what you'll have to suffer through.

The end.

P.S. probs no blog tomorrow, as I am awayyyyy, so maybe I'll just have to write an epic one for the 1st of May.

Peace out, homebodies.


Day 29 - A song from your childhood:
Ballroom Blitz by The Sweet

Suspended like spirits over speeding cars.

I want to stop feeling so completely lost all of the time.

I know this isn't the hilarious bounty of wit and sophistication you've come to expect from me, but I keep feeling things, and I'm one of those Never Ever Tell Anyone My Feelings Unless It's In A Huge Awkward Fight Where Months Of Pent-Up Emotion Come Pouring Out, and when I feel things, I like to find sentences to express them. And since I can't say them out loud to someone, I right them here. Deal with it? Yeah, k good.



Damn it, how will I ever get out of this labyrinth?


Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty:
Like a G6 by Far East Movement

I wish I had more music that made me feel things like Eddplant's music makes me feel things.

 

Late at night and in good company,

we talked of idleness and injury.

Problems and feelings shared,

now more than halved.

The stereo two rooms away repeated song we'd hear again,

and every song became a song about love

You were hesitant and I was naive.

Well, I was adamant and you had to concede. 

We were close,

but not as close as we might have come to be.

One thing led to another as the song always goes,

and we lay there in bed down to the last of our clothes.

And by the way, I tried to say 'I love you".

I held you close and gave you sympathy;

such little thanks for all you did for me.

But mine's a caring heart and yours was broken. 

And by the way, I tried to say 'I love you" 

but the words got jumbled up and I just kissed you again

and it was over before it started

and we parted.

12 wishes on 12 people:

I wish I could tell you all the things that I can't.

I wish you knew how much I wanted to be your friend. Just your friend for ever and ever.

I wish you knew how left behind you make me feel.

I wish you I knew I could trust you with my whole life.

I wish I knew you'd never be gone.

I wish you would stop making me feel so stupid and awkward all the time, and that you could make me feel as valued as I value you.

I wish you felt the same connection I did do.

I wish you didn't pretend to love her.

I wish you would stop underestimating how incredible you are.

I wish you had more faith in me. Just me.

I wish you would leave forever, but your family could stay.

I wish that you were the person you pretend.

But don't climb up too high 'cause I like you fallen.

I need a Hufflepuff to FIND the answer!

So. Question.

The following is a map of the world colour-coded by the side of the road the people in it drive on.

 

Blue is left-hand traffic

Red is right-hand traffic

While I was Skyping with Rita (hello, Rita!) she mentioned the fact that she went to Belgium and Holland, and they drove on the wrong side of the road, by which she meant the right side of the road.

My question, which Wikipedia just unsuccessfully attempted to answer for me, is what happens at the border where you have to change sides.

Wikipedia just treated me like an idiot, saying "What the hell are you talking about? You just, like, swap over you freaking fool." ... Though in retrospect, I may have paraphrased it slightly ... But that's okay!

Sooooo, basically all Wikipedia could tell me was that at the border of relevant countries, the cars just swapped.

BUT HOW DOES THAT WORK?!

Surely you can't just swerve into the other lane and retain some semblance of responsible, safe driving! Is there a stop-over point? Transition point? I don't even know!

This was just something that was puzzling me so I though that considering there are people who read this from overseas, and considering that I found it hilariously perplexing, I'd ask y'all.

I'm trying to picture what a whole bunch of cars just changing side would look like. And what if you just missed the sign and kept driving on what had just become the wrong side of the road? How flipping scary would it be when I saw other cars on the same side of the road as you, hurtling towards you?!

And the other facet of this mysterious equation is: what side of the car does the wheel go on?!

I know it's not unheard of to have a right-hand driving car in a left-hand driving country like Australia, but surely it would be something that's weirdly common in the countries with borders on countries that drive on a different side?

Anway. That was just a thing that I was thinking and I wanted to share it with you because that's what this is and if you don't like it then talk to Alyce because she smiles and when I mention camels she giggles and gets a tiny bit breathless which just makes me love her and love her because she knows me and if you don't like it then you can talk to Alyce because -- what?

Oh.

Goodnight.

Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play:

Granger Danger by Starkid

dusk --

i wish the whole day was made of moments of dusk
my breath is clear and the air is a million million colours,
darkening by the moment
the short seconds minutes hours between the glare of day
and the cover of night
where everything is crisp and clear and wonderful
dusk connects us.
the day is rain somewhere and shine elsewhere
but dusk feels the same everywhere, all the places
refreshing air biting your skin
thoughts coming clearly to your brain
the promise of the night and the day
i wish my whole life was made of moments of dusk







Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument:
Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple :P
Also, Semi-Charmed life by Third Eye Blind
On drums and guitar not respectively.

I am an old person.

You know who suck? Kids these days.

I mean, seriously.
Did you know that Bananas in Pajamas, arguably the greatest show with men dressed up as bananas that is directed at children to have ever been created, is now in CGI?

I was thinking about it, and I really cannot think of any rational reason for this to have become the case. It's not like they were expending a lot of money on the set because, let's be honest, it didn't really change much at all ever.
And the ... well, I guess we can call them actors? The 'actors' (The Costumed Ones) would cost just as much to pay as the computers nerdy people (CGI yodels by which I mean men, by which I mean most likey men but also possibly women) and you'd need more people because you'd also need the voice actors AND the computer nerds.

Also, where's the fun in CGI bananas and pajamas? You don't get the amazing feeling of this whole pajama-ed banana world where anything is possible.

You know what did annoy me about that show though? How rarely the Bananas chased the Teddies. I mean, it was Tuesday a WHOLE LOT more than the number of times they showed an episode where the Teddies were being chased. Serious letdown.

But I have noticed that overall, kids TV shows from when I was younger are a lot better. TV shows these days seem to baby kids too much. And they're all terrible. I know that I had some TV shows that were so good, my mum would like watching them. But maybe that says more about my mum than it does about the TV shows ...

I think it can be summed up by something Eddplant said:
When I was 11, movies for 11 year olds were about 11 year olds. Now, they're about 17 year olds.

Too true, too true.

Yesterday's:
Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh
'Pokemon, What Happened To You?' What Happened to You by Alex Day and Tom Milsom

Obligatory post, FYI.

Yesterday, I saw two camels.
Let's just say that there were two camels and three humps, if you get my drift.
I wanted to say 'If you get my fish' but I don't really want that to be the inpression with which you leave.

I want a house. Can someone buy me a house?

This is why I hate BEDA. Because I end up with absolutely nothing to say and so I write something crappy and forced to meet my self-imposed quota which no-one but me actually cares about. And then I write something I'm dissatisfied with, which sucks but whatevs, brah. I'mma rock it like ... a rockstar. Yeah, you can use that expression. I know it's pretty badass.

Anyway, with nothing else to fill this void of the internet with, I'm going to do an Alan Lastufka-esque 'Today I --" blog, with things I achieved today.


Today I  --
found a new TV show that I like, after deciding that the second episode was just as good as the first, and I like it, despite the fact that the central character is a dick.
resisted the, not going to lie, not particularly overwhelming urge to eat chocolate.
made some of my best friends amazing hot chocolates, which is something that I find really fulfilling in a way I can't truly explain*.
caught up on my YouTube videos, finally finally.

Oh yes, that just made me realise what a waste today was. But I did write two blog posts. I am a professional and social success.

I wish I had stories to tell you. I would tell you the world if I could.

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
Play Crack the Sky by Brand New?
I don't know! This is morbid and a topic about which I've never thought

A goodbye just as soon as I said hello.


*I was going to attempt to explain this to you, but then after writing an emo-sounding, awkwardly-phrased 200 word paragraph, I gave up. And now this asterisk really serves no porpoise or purpose, but I can say hello.
Hello!

The Rules/z (The 'z' is optional. I'm accommodating, see?)

SOMEONE suggested this, and since I am kind and loving blog master, I am working to the wishes of the people by setting out the very strict and very srs rules. Rulez. Roolz.

 Srs bsnss.


1. Thou shalt laugh/chuckle/be amused at least once per blog.

2. If you (dropping all pretense of using archaic English) like it, you must tell me. It's the law. The law of the internet. Also of the world.

3. For BEDA, the 'day' is classified not as the period of time from midnight at the start of a day, until midnight at the end, but rather from when I wake up until when I go to sleep. Which means that posts that come at 1am count for the preceding day. Deal with it and don't send me prompting text messages (JERK)

4. You must have an appreciation for enjoyably bad things. This is possibly a less-than-legitimate rule, but I'm watching He's Just Not That Into You and that's what it made me think about.

5. You mustn't judge on my overuse of pink in the layout. Pink is how the cool kids kick it.

6. You must dance during all blog entries. For at least a second. Are you getting the impression that I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel because that's sure what I'm getting out of this.

7. The seventh rule of Blog Club is that you don't not talk about Blog Club. Double negative win. Also, I apologise for the 'Blog Club' thing, but rule writing is hard!

8. You must find interrobangs amusing, if inpractical and expressively confusing. -- Wait, what? You- You don't know what an interrobang is?
Interro
...
...
...

BANG!

‽
‽
‽
‽
‽
‽

Andbutso, yeah.
9. You may only bring up embarrassing things you learn off here once per day. So, if I were to tell you about the time (... times ...) I went to Academy, you couldn't mention that more than once a day, 'cause dude, that is srsly humiliating.

10. You must not tease me for my
a) obsessive compulsions (power points, even numbers, rah rah rah)
b) fangirlisms
c) coolness factor of - 4
d) inability to party


THESE ARE THE RULZ I HAVE SET BEFORE YOU, FOR YOU TO OBEY AND stuff.


Day 23 - A song you want to play at your wedding:
Stolen by Dashboard Confessional :)

Yes, I am aware this is yesterday's one, but I am posting twice today, because it was commanded of me. And I live to serve.

You know what's a brillers movie?

A Philadelphia Story.

Classic movies are severly underrated.

Seriously, script-writing like that does just not happen anymore.

Someone write a movie like that. And then make it. And then say "this movie was made for the venerable and quite nice Adrienne May, of internet fame and fortune, who has impeccable taste and killer hair as well as a propensity for hilarity"

That's the kind of dedication I want.

If you're going to bother making a movie for me, at least give me something epic like that.

Anyway. Examples:

"Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me." "Shall we toss a coin?"

"I'm testing the air. I like it but it doesn't like me."

"The time to make up your mind about people is never."

You know what else is a good movie?

The Princess Bride.

Another excellently scripted movie. 

His name is Inigo Montoya. You killed his father. Prepare to die.

"We are men of action. Lies do not become us."

AHHHH. So good.

Also Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. 

90% because of Tommy Bastow. Oh, Tommy Bastow.

Have you ever noticed how many good things there are? Like, just in the world?

There's movies and music and food (especially toast! toast is amazing. anyone who doesn't like toast is just ...silly. but probably still pretty cool.) and friends and laughter and getting lost and hugs and cute texts and missing people but seeing them again and family and interwebz and pets and grass and sun and nice.

I don't know why my blog just turned into a Be Positive campaign but I'mma roll wit' it.

Until right now. When I'mma stop. And go to sleep.

Like the epic gangsta I are.

Peace out, homeboiis.

(I'm perplexed by people who speak in such a manner. I also find my tendency to change writing style dramatically within such a short (fewer than 500 words) post quite amusing. What a freaking master.)

Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad:

Sum Me Up by BriBry :)

A beautiful blend of bittersweet lyrics and hilarious awkwardness:

I don't want a girl with problems, even though we'd be a perfect match

I don't like bending down to kiss but when would I find someone taller than me. And if I did then I'd run to this hills, 'cause she'd look fucking scary.

So, I know what you're thinking.

"Adrienne works so late and complains about her job and wah wah wah, what a fool. Why doesn't she just get a new job? She could earn more at Baker's Delight (true) but noooo, she's staying and Southern Cross Ten."

Well, my young oddlings, I shall explain to you some things.

YES, I do work stupidly long hours. 

For example, this week I worked 12 or more hours every day, because we had 9 days of work to do in 4 days, because of the stupid Easter/Anzac Day long weekend. Most Fridays are at least as long as this, especially now that the AFL season has started, and Thursdays are pretty bad. In fact, I don't think I can remember the last time I was out of work on time (5.45).

So yeah, my hours suck.

And YES, I am so severly underpaid that it makes perks such as the examples to follow seem amazing and awesome. And once you read the perks, you may have an understanding of how underpaid I am, in order for those to be considered 'perks'.

And YES, it is in an incredibly awful location, to which there's only one bus service, and it doesn't always stop, and only comes every half hour up until 6.30, when it starts coming every hour, and it's next to this crazy dodgy motel/caravan park where we can sometimes see people getting it on, and it's very very very far away from not just both of my houses, but from everything in the whole world (except Bella's house).

And YES, there's no way to predict what time I'm going to finish, unless it gets to the point of being so late that they literally have to kick us out, because there's apparently some law that means if you finish one day of work and start the next at the same place within ten hours of each other, then you get paid double, so they actually had to kick us out at 10 in order to avoid that happening, and the lack of predictability means that when I need to get picked up, it's a case of 'Leave NOW!" and I end up waiting around for them to arrive for half an hour, or "Leave NOW!" and they end up waiting around for me to finish for half an hour.

BUT.

Perks.

The following is a list of the free stuff I've gotten while working there:

An Australian Idol hat

A mousepad which I use as a coaster/space-taker-upper-er.

Chips, drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic), lollies hot cross buns, Easter eggs, other varied foods

A Ke$ha CD (which I may or may not have then listened to on my computer while working. twice.)

A Southern Cross Media t-shirt

Warehouse tickets (legit perk)

NRL tickets

Some wicked cool friends :)

Access to a juke box and an awesome canteen (canteen = completely necessary, considering we're a 5 minutes drive to the nearest food-giving place)

So yeah ...

A convincing argument?

I gotta say, the wicked cool friends really are wicked cool, and I am intensely glad to know them. Even if they quit. And left the place quiet and lame.

Also, that Australian Idol hat is pretty much the most stylish and fashion savvy item of clothing in the whole entire world. So you should probably be jealous. Just sayin'.

[I kind of figured that since I complain about my job so much, and since it's responsible for ruining my social/sleeping/coolness/blogging life, I should explain a bit about it to you. If you're wondering what I actually do, I make sure that there's no sections of 'dead air' (you gotta get with the lingo!) by putting in times things start and crap, and also I put ads on. Jealous, right?]

Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy:

Holding On by Alex Day, or as he likes ot be known, Daleks.

Frogswallop

<3

If you were cool, you'd get it.



Who's excited for my birthday? What presents are you getting me? 8th of May, kiddies, write it down in your diaries.
I waaaaaaaant:
some CDs
some DVDs
some TV shows (on DVD)
some money
some clothes
some cool random things (looking at you for this, Alyceman)
some art
some books
some online stuff because I am lame
some pajamas - side note: it's wear pajamas to work day tomorrow. I know, it's pretty intense. ahh, the perks of working in the media. (lol jokes, don't do it)
a hugs
some more hugs
gtm
a surprise party
too see my lovely friends.
the following day off work (also every day off work)
the ability to stay focussed on a task without getting distracted by stupid things you want for your birthday like a pony. I DON'T EVEN LIKE PONIES
the ability to write intelligently even when super tired



Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you're angry:
Romance is Dead by Parkway Drive

An apology and a brief, but hopefully amusing anecdote

So the awkward combination of power failure, ridiculously long working hours, and staying at my beautiful friend's house have resulted in me failing. At life, but more specifically, at Blog Every Day in April. What a loserface.

I can only say that I am sorry, and trust me, I'm more disappointed than you. Though that might be because I'm the only one that actually cares about this, and you all just read it to find out embarrassing things about me. Don't worry. I know that's why you're here. But since the topic of me playing Quidditch has come up literally every day at work since people there found out *, I have learned to live with embarrassment. But despite whatever reasons you might be here, I am back, and with the more sincere of apologies.

Here you go 

*hands you apology*

APPRECIATE IT.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here follows what I like to think of as an amusing, if slightly awkward anecdote. If you're related to me, expect this to be especially awkward.

So I was down in Melbourne a couple of months ago (Melbourne is awesome and anyone who hasn't been there is SILLY :-P) and I was chilling with my good friend Courtney. We had a bit of a night out, went to Crown, did Crown-y things. Got lost. Watched this Asian guy put a towel over his baby's face. Y'know. The usual.

Anyway, we were on the train back to Courtney's car, and on the train they have a short newspaper-y sort of thing that you can read in case you don't want to listen to the drunken slurs of the 25-but-acting-like-we're-just-18 year old guys behind you.

Included in this are normal cheap newspapery things, like funny articles, jokes and most importantly in this story, horoscopes.

Now, I'm not one to pay attention to horoscopes, but I always find them an amusing read (it's amazing that their generalised statements can sometimes actually apply to my real life! It must be true!), and while all the other horoscopes were relatively normal something-will-happen-in-your-life-today (it's Hyphen-City, here today!), the following is the sum total of my horoscope:

Taurus:

Sensuality is highlighted, as the Moon and Venus make beautiful music together in your lust zone.

Yup. I don't feel I need to add any more. Just sit back and appreciate that slice of fortune-telling brilliance.

Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio:

Big Jet Plane by Angus and Julia Stone

Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio:

The Heretic's Song by Tom Milsom

Day 19 – A song from your favorite album:

Okay, I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't by Brand New (off Deja Entendu)

*I was actually out in Bar 32 in Civic on Saturday night, and while my friends all ditched me to go to the bathroom, I went and stood (I'd say danced but that would require me to be able to dance, and dancing is not a skill I have, unless you mean dancing poorly) with a girl from work who we just happened to bump into. I'll add at this point that I've talked to this girl (lady? woman? lass?) a grand total of about 4 times, all of them related to work, and then she proceeded to introduce me to the people she was with a "This is Adrienne. She plays Quidditch." 

In a club. On a Saturday.

Yeah, one of my proudest moments.

Threeceratops

This is my good friend El Bandito.

Do not mess with him. His ferociousness cannot be bound even by the walls of this blog.

Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate:

Soda Pop by Briteny Spears?

Yes, I like Harry Potter. Was that not mentioned?

As you may or may not know (every single person at work does, but some of the rest of you mightn't), I am a member of the ANU Harry Potter Club. Among other things, one of our activities is a Fangasm Exchange, where you write down three criteria you want, put everyone's in a hat, draw one out and then you have to create something for someone else, involving the three criteria.

The three criteria I have to create something from are

- Harry

- Vernon Dursley or Sirius or Arthur Weasley, and

- the Puberty Talk

I picked Arthur, but I chose to tell the story from Molly Weasley's point of view. This is the beginning of it:

Molly Weasley is a big believer in the idea that you can’t get a man to do a woman’s job, and in most cases, she’s got the woman’s job covered. The following is a time when, try as she might, she just wasn’t fit for the job.

Another long, sweet summer, seeming all the brighter for the threats that now lay in the past. The dark, figurative cloud over the lives of wizards and Muggles alike has figuratively drifted away, and even the rainiest, stormiest day can’t darken the spirits of most people. Every day seemed like a blessing; except for today, in the life of one unfortunate nearly-man. Not that he knew it yet.

From across the breakfast table, Molly observed the way he looked at her daughter, and began happily entertaining thoughts about him one day becoming her son. This kept her occupied until he looked up at her expectantly.

“Mrs Weasley?” said Harry. Molly started, realising she’d been staring blankly, smiling like a fool and holding a piece of toast halfway to her mouth for a number of minutes.

“Sorry, yes, dear?”

“I was just wondering if you could pass the butter. Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, of course,” she flustered. “There you go. Would you like anything else?”

“No, thanks, Mrs Weasley,” Harry said, as he turned back to Ginny. “I’ve got all I need right here…”

As the young couple shared a secret look, Molly blushed, embarrassed by the tone of his voice and the implication beneath it. At the same time, she remembered the previous night, where she’d woken to the creaking of the stairs, almost as if someone had been walking from Ron’s room down to Ginny’s. As she looked at Harry and Ginny, giggling and whispering to each other, a terrible realisation began to dawn on her. Throughout breakfast, Arthur had been sitting contentedly, amicably interrupting the conversations of the others, not paying attention to the lovesick teens, and not realising what had been happening in Molly’s very own house just the previous night. She seemed to be the only one who even noticed, and the more Molly thought about it (though she tried not to think about it too much), the more she came to the conclusion that something had to be done. And this may be a case where she wasn’t the woman for the job.

Day 15 – A song that describes you:

This is Me by Charlie McDonnell

I wouldn't say this describes me, but many of the things in the song apply to me.

None of that song is about me, but some of it might apply.

An incomplete but not unsubstantial collection of things that I find irritating:

1. Made up words or phrases to sound like science
2. Facebook groups that are too long to see the whole name on your feed
3. Lag
4. Pity laughter
5. The View
6. People I want to talk to talking to me juuuuuust before I want to go to bed
7. Not being able to pat my rabbit because it's too cold
8. Animal hair on everything
9. Dirty kitchens
10. Blu-tack that doesn't tack properly
11. Unwashed clothes that I want to wear
12. Obligatory "no I'm not mad at you" texts
13. Lack of logic
14.  "[web browser] cannot display this page"
15. Squiggly You-Spelt-Something-Wrong-Or-Used-Poor-Grammar lines, when you didn't spell it incorrectly and by gum, your (it'd be funny if I'd said 'you're') grammar is impeccable!
16. Being unable to think of things to blog about
17. Not talking to someone I really want to talk to
18. Talking to someone I really don't want to talk to
19. Tense changes
20. International shipping costs
21. How much stuff I want to buy that has international shipping costs
22. The way I promise myself that tomorrow night I'll go to bed early and it never happens
23. People who TEXT ME TO REMIND ME TO BLOG WHEN I ALREADY AM
24. How boring this is going to be
25. Always being nice to people
26. Those things where they have a list of things like "1. [insert lame joke], 2. You laughed at 1. 3. Your feet are the same length as your forearm 5. You're comparing 6. You were too busy comparing to notice that there was no number 4. 7. You just looked back to check HAHA YOU IDIOT" Well, no, I wasn't and I didn't. I just don't care about your stupid mind games
27. How frequently I find myself incapable of effectively expressing myself (see above)
28. Packing
29. My job
30. People who argue poorly
31. People who tell me I'm wrong. Even if I am
32. How big my Zefron poster is
33. Two bums <<<<
34. HAHA YOU JUST LOOKED AT THE TWO BUMS. I'm sorry. You're a very intelligent, beautiful person and I hope one day to hold you as you stroke my hair out of my eyes and tell me I'm more brilliant than the moon.
35. Not being able to think of more things, when I know how many billions of things piss me off
36. Having to take care of pets
37. Drunk people who aren't funny
38. My slight obsessive compulsions
39. The way that I want to talk about the people I watch on YouTube like they're my friends, but no-one understand who I'm talking about, and if I explain how I know all these things about their life, "they're vloggers" just doesn't cut the mustard (or the cheese, but that's another thing), so I have to either not mention them or pretend I know them in real life so I don't sound like a weirdo.
40. How much I suck at video games
41. How much I suck at writing postcards to people in England who I love very much but I am really tired and I'm sorry if you're reading this.
42. People who think 42 is the meaning of Life, The Universe and Everything. NO, GUYZ.

Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love:
Um ... I don't know? Apparently people who don't know me don't realise I listen to hardcore music so ...
A Boy Brushed Red ... Living in Black and White by Underoath

PhotalBUM. (That's 'photo' and 'album' combined, with an emphasis on the BUM.)

A hilariously titled box

My brother and me. It was around this time, possibly straight after this photo, that Andrew realised that the only way he can look not-terrible in a photo is by looking slightly incredulous.

Brooke

and myself, on our way to Kings Cross.This was a precautionary measure in case we got killed, or stolen.

Pensieve Bennory (@aleks?)

Need I even explain? Probably. But I won't.

Night. Sky. Driving.

BATH. Greatest place EVAR.

While on our road trip to SA then Melbourne, I kept taking pictures of this bear sitting there, with the background showing different settings. This is one of my favourites :)

Carved my initals in a rock. That's how I roll. Like rock and roll.

A BOAT made of lunch rubbish.

:)

Crazy negative feet.

Crazy negative boyfriend.

I made this smaller so as not to startle you.

Tonight, the clouds drifting past the moon. Do you ever feel the unstoppable passing of time like a physical weight? Not necessarily bad, but overwhelming. That was my sense as I took this picture.

All of these photos were taken with my very own camera by my very own self. They are the type of thing that I don't really have anywhere to put, but I want to use them, so here they are. Also, I thought this would be a good idea for a quick and easy blog but it took way longer than anticipated, so appreciate it bitches. This blog is my HARD WORK and these photos were all taken by ME!






Oh -- except this one:

Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure:
... Popular Kesha songs. DON'T JUDGE ME.

mindless rambling nonsense. in a dull way.

So I was gonna blog for realzies, but then I got distracted by the livestream of Ed and Lex on the radio sooooo, I'mma go watch that. Also, I have nothing to say. My creativity was sapped out of me by all my brilliant writing of word stories yesterday. 

Oh wait -- I have one thing. Paul is cool. Totally unpromtped. I said that completely voluntarily without a gun being held to my head or the iminent threat of torture. On a scale of one to awesome, he's like, a 12. Or something.


I've had a bottle of lift sitting next to my bed. It's been there for three days. I finally cleaned my awesome chair. So that now I can sit on it. I wore a pink hat today. Yup. What is my life. What is air.


I wish I could write my blog posts in comic sans. That'd be hilarious. It's like, the rick rolling of typography. But more painful. Like, if someone rick rolls you, it's still kind of funny, in a painful way. There's no joy in comic sans.

Day 12 – A song from a band you hate:
I DON'T HATE ANY BANDS I DON'T THINK.
But I guess ... I Whip My Hair - by Willow Smith
I should have picked that for the song I hate. I hate that song. SO MUCH.

Word Stories!!!!

You absolutely cannot comprehend how interesting I find word origins. It's like a little short story that helps you learn interesting things! It's like history and anthropology and geography and english and knowledge ALL IN ONE!


Sarcophagus and sarcasm
These two words come from the same root word. CRAZY.
definition: sarcophagus: an ornate stone coffin or tomb
origin: This word is most commonly associated with ancient burials, and at those times, stone coffins had the reputation of devouring the flesh of corpses. Sarkophagos was the name Greeks gave to a type of limestone that cut from quarries. The name is a compound, from sark-, the stem of sarx, meaning 'flesh' and phagos, from phagein, meaning 'to eat'. Thus, sarkophagos and therefore sarcophagus literally means 'flesh eating'.
From a translation of a text from 1601, the reputed properties of the limestone is seen:
"...within the space of forty daies it is knowne for certaine to consume the bodies of the dead which are bestowed therein."
Look at all those now redunant 'e's! You're WATCHING ENGLISH PROGRESS. How exciting is that?! 

definition: sarcasm: a bitter, wounding comment
origin: The ancient Greeks had a verb, sarcazein, again, from sarx, 'flesh', and this verb meant 'to tear flesh like dogs'. Applied figuratively, it had the sense of 'to sneer' or 'to bite the lips in fury'. From this, came the noun sarkasmos, which meant 'a biting taunt'. Latin later had sarcasmus, which was taken into English in the sixteenth century - a lot of words happened then - as a scolding spirit Sarcasmus. In Anatomy of Meloncholy (1621) was written
"Many are of so petulent a spleene, and have that figure of Sarcasmus so often in their mouths ..."
I mean, I don't know what the spleene bit means, but it must be a pretty awesome insult.
In the seventeenth century, English borrowed the word again, this time from the French as sarcasme and was often used in the plural. It obviously adapted to our current word today.


Gorilla
 definition: a large ape
origin: This origin relies on the translation of an original text which was lost, but is to awesome to pass up. The original text was an account of a voyage, the Periplus or 'circumnavigation', written in Punic, but translated into Greek. When Hanno, the navigator, sailed the west coast of Africa in the fifth or sixth century BC, he returned with tales of an island inhabited by a tribe of incredibly hairy women who, he'd been told, were called Gorillai. In 1847 (so a long long long long time later), Dr. Thomas S. Savage, an American, discovered great apes while exploring West Africa and suggested the name Trogolodytes Gorilla, and it's possible that the very hairy women found by Hanno were actually just normally hairy Gorillas, which is a bit embarrassing for Hanno if true, and a bit embarrassing for the hairy women if not, who might still to this day be mistaken for apes.


Assassin
definition: a murderer, usually of an important person
origin: In the eleventh century in Persia, Hassan ben Sabbah founded a fanatical sect of Islamic fundamentalists with the intention of controlling the Muslimm world through violence. He based the sect in the fortress of Alamut in Persia (now Iran), and he and then his successors became known as the Old Man of the Mountain. The sect opposed the dynasties of the time, and were also violent against the Crusaders in Nothern Syria. Over two hundred years, the sect developed and established bases of hill forts throughout Syria in order to perform brutal attacks of terrorism. The members of the sect were said to prepare themselves for these tasks by eating hashish, hence the sect's name hashshashin, meaning "hashish eaters". The English noun assassin, which appeared in the fourteenth century, is from this Arabic word.
It was theorised to have entered popular language when it was suspected that the French King, Phillip Augustus, started a rumour that Richard the Lion-Heart had tried to persuade the Old Man of the Mountain to send Assassins to France to murder him. This intrigue started gossip that could have started the word being used in common English speech.



Day 11 - A song from your favourite band:
Play Crack the Sky by Brand New
contains possibly my favourite ever song lyrics
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea.

My friend Aleks the Person.

Alex is way cool and barely even a little bit of a minger. She likes chips and gravy and no salt on things. She also doesn't drink Coca-Cola products because they is evil, and stuff, but sometimes she cheats and drinks Grape Fanta but I think that's OK and today she tasted L&P which is also owned by Coca-Cola and she liked it but she didn't drink more so she's not that much of a moral cheater.


She should wear glasses or contacts but she doesn't. Because she's a badass rebel.



Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep:
River Flows in You by Yiruma

Why am I so incapable of having an early night?

It's like even like I do anything most nights. Last night was an exception, but tonight, there's no reason for me to still be awake at midnight. I wake up every morning and have a small bask in how wonderful my bed is, how perfectly tempered and completely comfortable it is, and then I spend the whole day intending to have a delightfully early night so that I won't be tired any more, and some how, I end up still awake at 11.30.
Does anyone know any motivational tools for sleeping? Because man, I'd love to hear them.

I love lying on the grass, whether it's a park or near the beach or just on my back yard. I love the contrast of bright green to the vivid blue sky, with fantastically white clouds floating across it (I'm heading into Alyce writing territory). I am such a winter person, cold weather and rainy days, but I can never help but be struck with awe by the utterly bewildering visage of our Earth on a warm sunny day. While I was lying there on the grass, I was thinking about that episode of Scrubs where JD gets told to take time to just lay on the grass and take the world in, and that's what I did, albeit briefly. In these moments, I don't care whether God created this world, gods created this world, perfect, science-supported coincidences created this world, or magic lolcats created this world. I only care that it's here and that I'm living in it and that I'm appreciating it.

That's all. :)



Day 9 - A song you can dance to:
Girl Can't Dance by Eddplant
It's true, and consequently funny, on two levels.
i.e. I can dance to it, and I can't dance. #complexhumour

Blog Every Day in YOUR PANTS!

That witty and almost misspelled (picked it up at the last minute!) title is pretty much my submission for BEDA for today. It's 2 am, and I just got home. Yeah, I worked until 10. My job rocks. Stupid Paul stupid quitting and escaping from the stupid 13 hour days. And then I went for after work drinks. How fancy am I?! I feel so grown up. Well, right up until the point where everyone else got smashed. After that it felt pretty much like any party I go to ...

Day 8 - A song that I know all the words to:
Kryptonite by Three Doors Down