Monday, 16 May 2011

A developing theory

I'm of the opinion that everyone should have a theory that they have developed, and in which they firmly believe. I think this can relate to pretty much any aspect of life, the universe and everything, but I think it should be something intelligently constructed and well-presented, so that it can be rationalised, even if others don't necessarily agree with it.

For me, a theory that I've recently started considering is related to relationships. You're worried now, aren't you? This is srs bsnss.

I was watching the Graham Norton Show the other day (don't judge; David Tennant was on it), and one of the guests (not DT) was a comedian who had written a book about relationships, and why you shouldn't be in one. In his words (sort of) "Every relationship is going to end, and the more you love the person now, the worse it's going to be when it does."
I'm sure he put it more eloquently than that, but you get the idea.
That was his theory. Bit dreary, I know.
Mine has to do with relationships, but I think is a bit more positive.

It's important, in a relationship (I am talking here predominantly about romantic relationships, but I think this can apply to some extent to close friendships and such), to have things that you and the other in person involved disagree on. (Also, this isn't my theory. Yet.) Intelligent, and even unintelligent, discussion about differing opinions is important; it opens your mind to new perspectives and new ideas, which you may not agree with, but are nonetheless broadening your figurative horizons. Who knows, you may even learn something. Wouldn't that be terrible? That was a sarcastic AND rhetorical question. Two layers of Please Don't Answer Or You'll Look Like A Fool.

I also think it's important to agree with your partner on some issues, and HERE (finally) is where my theory comes into practice.

I am here to suggest that in order for a relationship to function successfully, both parties must have the same preference be on the same side of the never-ending battle of pirates vs. ninjas.
Mind blown, amirite?

I think that not only does this preference give insight into one's character, but it also is a heated debate, dating back thousands of years.
There was actually and 11th Commandment given to Moses, stating that:
Ye Shall Only be Wed to One with Whom Ye Share the Same Values of Character, Manifested Through the Shared Inclination t'ward Either yon Dastardly Pirate or yon Stealthy Ninja.
In fact, earlier than that, there has been evidence of this eternal debate, with cave drawings found dating back to the time of Neanderthals, depicting clans separated by preference.

Thus it can be seen from this undeniable evidence that in order to remain peaceable with a close partner, you must share the same ideas of which is better: the pirate or the ninja.
Because really, how do you plan on raising your children?
What do you say when your 4 year old says
"Daddy, Mummy says pirates are the best and I think they are too"?
[I'd like to take a moment to say that I have, right now, the opportunity to make a very sexist joke, and I'M NOT TAKING IT. Because I'm responsible.]
I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to explain to your child that their mother is clearly an idiot, for believing something so ridiculously idiotic.

Also, you both have to like dinosaurs.
Don't ever date someone who doesn't like dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs are badass.

Oh, and ninjas. Always ninjas.

...Perhaps I got a bit carried away.

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