Thursday, 20 January 2011

Potentially Titled This

I just got accepted into university. I've decided to do something different than 90% of the people I know, and not post it on my Faceybook. Not that there's anything wrong if you did; I'd just like to talk about my plans at the moment, and my feelings and stuff.

I've just been accepted into the Australian National University, to study for a Bachelor of Science (Psychology). While personally, I'd much rather go to the University of Woollongong, that's not really an option for me at the moment, financially and emotionally, and I also kind of feel like I'm wasting this amazing resource if I don't go to ANU. I mean, I live in Canberra, and ANU is one of the top universities in the world, and I feel like if I go elsewhere, it's kind of stupid, because I've got ANU right here, where I can live, rent free while I study.
And for that, I sacrificed the course at U of W that I really wanted all along, which is a Bachelor of Arts (Psychology).
This would have meant that instead if studying a science subject, like I have to at ANU, I would have had room for three other subjects of whatever-the-hell-I-want, which I'd have preferred.
But hey, I made the choice.

I was just thinking today about how weird everything is. I mean, some of my friends are already talking about O Week. Those that aren't, are far away, in obscure places or distant countries, without their parents, living independently. Even the ones staying here, whether for uni or something else, are fiercely independent, at least in my eyes (however, keep in mind that I have yet to get my Ps).
And you know what I think?
I'm not freaking old enough for this.
I'm not saying I'm old.
I'm fully aware that I'm not.
But, I mean, travelling alone, living alone, going to uni, working full time, these are all things that grown ups do. Real people, with real lives and real responsibilities do.
Because that's what my friends are: grown ups.
And it's become painfully obvious, quite suddenly, to me, that I'm a grown up too. I've been aware of my adulthood for quite a while, with voting in the election, the ability to drink, hang out with my friends until late, go out clubbing and so forth, but feeling grown up is different.
[At this point, please note that I'm not saying I'm completely grown up. I, and my friends, are just doing things that, in my mind, have always been things 'grown ups' do.]
I've been accepted to uni, I've got a job, I'm planning my travel, and I've got control of my life.
Sure, I still have to keep my room clean, but the important things are now mine.

For the curious, this year, I'm taking a year off, getting a full-time job until June, then travelling to the US and Canada for two months (San Fran, Boise, Vancouver, Toronto via Winnipeg [that's in Canada!], Orlando for LeakyCon, LA for VidCon, New York and Washington DC), then flying to Manchester and spending until around Christmas living in London and travelling all over Europe.
On the job front, I've been offered a job, which I've accepted, at Southern Cross Ten, working with the organisation of ads, but I'm also hoping to hear back about a public service job.

Anyway, I guess I don't feel like I should be accepting uni offers and settling into full time jobs and planning trips because that's stuff grown ups do, and I still feel like a four year old, or an eight year old, or a something-younger-than-I-am-now year old.

I'm aware that there are so many things left for me to experience, and that I'm not old, or even fully grown (one could argue that one is never fully grown), and that this responsibility, while it may seem like a lot, is still slight compared to the coming 50+ odd years of my life.
It's just startling that I've gone from 
Adrienne May, Daramalan College student, basketball player, has some friends
Adrienne May, potential uni student, potential world connoisseur, potential full-time worker, potential failure, potential inspiring success story, potential new friend, potential new housemate, potential enemy, potential crazy cat lady.
In short,
Adrienne May, potential unknown.

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