Am I cursed?

Seriously.
Remember this?

"I am about 90% sure they JB are now going to replace my laptop. And with that, the Saga of the Malfunctioning Death Machine is hopefully brought to a calm close, and the Tale of the Eternally Perfectly Working Hardware of Luuuurve can begin. In a couple of weeks when I get it.
Splendid! Splended! Splendead. 'S Plen Dead? Is Plen DEAD?
No. No he's not."

Well... the Tale of the Eternally Perfectly Working Hardware of Luuuuurve began. And ended.
Getting my new laptop was awesome! I went to JB and they were like, hey, we could give you a replacement Acer, OR WE COULD GIVE YOU $1200 TO SPEND ON ANY LAPTOP YOU WANT. I was like "Hm, I guess I'll take the second option?"
I picked a Dell, because they're meant to be the bossest of boss computers and they have awesome GRAPHICS and good OTHER THINGS and they are SUPER FAST.
And it was beautiful.
For a few months.
Until about maybe 2 months ago? I noticed that when I ran full screen programs, like the totally legal episodes of Gilmore Girls and True Blood I was streaming totally legally, and then escaped out to the normal whatever, the graphics were all weird. I can't actually describe it, but it was like all the shading was taken off everything? It was really stark and stuff. This only happened when the battery wasn't in. And like, fine, whatever, I can manage with that because at least that graphics are fine when the battery is in and the full screen program is open.
And there were other minor problems, like the battery cable never stays in. You know how when you use a laptop, you're meant to plug the cable in only while charging the battery? And once the battery is charged, you should either take the cable out and use the battery, or take the battery out and use power straight from the wall? Well, I couldn't do that, because if I did, the battery cable fell out and my computer died. Fun, right?

Again. All things I can deal with.
But now.
The internet doesn't work.
My computer is unable to connect to the internet.

I don't know why. I closed it one night to go to sleep and it went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning and turned it on, it had Windows Updated itself.

And the internet no longer worked.

So there.

I believe I'm either cursed, or computers are attention-seeking twats who like to annoy me.

Computers are 10 year old boys.

GOD.